


Sweet Darkness Falling

by AuroraExecution



Category: Cantarella
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 02:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraExecution/pseuds/AuroraExecution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here sweet darkness falling, embrace me every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Darkness Falling

Once, you looked at me like…like no one but Vannozza had ever looked at me before.  Like…something I couldn’t name at the time, but later understood.  Like you could love me.

And in all the world, the angel who could possibly, maybe love me, the beautiful deadly Michael with wings of light, you—you were enough.

You wouldn’t let me die, and continued to make me live.

And the world loved me and bowed before me if I so desired, but you simply smirked at my side and told me I was a fool and saved me from myself.

Heh.

The only thing that saves me from letting go is the only person in the world who cannot love me.  The one that means eternity to me is the one to whom I mean nothing.

How could I compete with the angel?  I loved her—still love her—but she does not have your light.  Two angels, in two completely separate ways, you fell in love.  I should have known all along, but we are often the most blind with regards to what we treasure most.  Somehow I always imagined that something would bind you to me: duty, fear, the desire to preserve the world from my demonic destruction…even friendship, sometimes.  Never love.  I never allowed myself to expect quite so much, though I could not help but desire it anyway.

But my archangel was never actually mine, because what dark spirit may truly possess an angel?  Yet I hoped, because I needed to, because I needed _you_ , even if I knew somewhere deep within that it was just another lie I told myself.

Oh, God, Chiaro.  I…I said once I wanted to be my own god, but I never found the way.  You became that god I was searching for, and, like a god, you have no need for a dark creature like me at your side.

And, damn it, but I hate you.  I hate her.  I hate the both of you being so happy like I always hoped you’d be.  I hate myself for hating it and wishing I could be there instead.  I hate myself for letting everything be taken away, and I hate myself for caring.

You knew.  I know you did.  But of all the people in the world, you were the only one who did not want me to love you.  I…oh, God, I loved you, even telling myself I would never, ever love anyone in the world after Vannozza and Lucrezia.  Even telling myself it was only lust or stupidity or a moment of weakness.

But you were always there, always beside me, and _because_ you were there I held on to some of the shreds of my humanity.  In that humanity, I drowned.  I loved you, and loved you, and you did not find it enough to stay for me.  You are the only reason I have to fight anymore, and, ironically, I never was your reason for anything.

And, God, God, I love you.  I love you.  I hate you so desperately, but I love you.

Please…come back to me.

 _Please_ …

I would do anything to hold your heart.

Even succumb to the darkness.

 

 

_And in the moonlight night_

_I could hear the shadows smile_

_The sky crumbled at my feet_

_Its splinters in a pile_

 

_You were always sunshine_

_Ambrosia that I breathe_

_Pale golden in my blackness_

_But you didn’t see me_

 

_Here sweet darkness falling_

_Embrace me every day_

_Elsewhere morning’s come_

_But elsewhere’s far away_

 

 


End file.
